It feels good to have some say in my own “world” at long last.
I create better when I am organised, and the act of organisation is part of the “ceremony of my creative process”.
I never really thought of it that way before today. Not consciously anyway.
But today I have been forced to really think through the reality of my existence, and I am not living my life the way I think I ought to be. In other words, I am not living authentically. Yet again, it wasn’t my decision to do this – inertia and lack of proactive assistance – only so long you can wait for a life raft when the boat you are on is sinking cuz it is full of holes…
I am so busy doing what I think I ought to be doing, I am not being true to myself. I am living the life I have been given, rather than actually being involved in, and making the creative decisions that I want to. I don’t even get to choose what food I want, from a combination of practical reasons.
That is stopping from now on….
So – having cut the strings of the puppet masters, and fully prepared to take the consequences – I am turning my attentions to my creative world.
I am also thinking about “Autumn” – I feel the need to nourish myself – comfort food and clothing required before hibernation !
I have also bought two cookbooks – in Toby’s immortal words, whenever I say I am cooking a meal – “that is bothering” – “I don’t want to die…”
Well tough Toby – I do – not die, but DYE…. colour awaits…
This monochrome world has existed around me for long enough…